


The Lion, The Witch, and The Chocolate Factory

by teaberryblue



Category: Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis, Harry Potter - Fandom, The Problem of Susan - Fandom
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:17:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue





	The Lion, The Witch, and The Chocolate Factory

“That’s just bloody splendid,” said Ron. He rubbed his bruised nose.

“There’s a train for Edinburgh in an hour.” Harry looked at the timetable. “We could take that, and get to Hogsmeade from--”

“A Muggle train?” Ron asked. “How do those even run?”

“Err, there’s an engine, and--”

“That was a thingummy question,” said Ron.

“You mean a rhetorical question?” asked Harry.

“Who are you, Hermione?” asked Ron. “Come on, I’ve got an idea.”

Ron nearly dragged Harry to the gates of a factory. Steam billowed from the smokestacks, smelling pleasantly like marshmallow and chocolate.

Ron rang a bell. A young man with sandy hair answered.

“Charlie!” said Ron.

“Ron!” said Charlie. “How’s Bill?”

“Bill? Oh, smashing,” said Ron. “Can we borrow some Oompa Loompas?”

Charlie blinked. “Oompa Loompas?” he asked. “Whatever for?”

“We missed the Hogwarts Express,” Ron replied. “And I remembered when you and Bill got the Oompa Loompas to carry you there in a palanquin.”

Charlie frowned “I’m afraid the Oompa Loompas are on strike. Some frizzy-haired girl explained to them about wages.”

Ron rolled his eyes. “Merlin, Hermione!” he said. “Well, thanks. Say hi to Mister Wonka for us!”

Charlie handed two rainbow-colored sweets through the gates. “Gobstoppers?”

Sxteen gobstopper flavors later, the boys arrived at a stately town house. They were answered by an older woman with greying hair. “Yes?” she asked.

“Professor Hastings?” asked Ron. “Ronald Weasley; I was at that convention with my dad? The one on Muggles and magic?”

“Ah, yes.” replied the woman. “Please, just Susan. Tea, dear?”

Ron scratched his head. “You were the one who did that talk on the magical wardrobe, aren’t you? I don’t suppose we could borrow it quick?”

“I’m frightfully sorry.” Her tone had become wistful. “No one has used it since the train wreck.”

Harry felt a bit awkward, but Ron went on. “See? I said Muggle trains were bad news. Thanks, anyway, Professor!”

Harry hesitated a moment. “Er. Sorry about my friend. We’re late for school.”

“No worries, dear,” she said. “Say hello to my cousin’s boy? Cedric? He’s in...I never remember. The badger house?”

Harry nodded. “Will do, Ma’am.”

When they got to the little cottage off Portobello Road, The sun was setting.

“Just one more,” said Ron. “I’m sure Miss Price will help.”

“Ronald Weasley!” exclaimed the sprightly old lady who answered, holding a rabbit in her arms. “Don’t mind Emilius, he’s been misbehaving again.”

“Hullo, Miss Price!” said Ron. He waved at the rabbit. “Hullo, Mister Browne. Look, we’re in a bit of a bind. Could we use your bed for a bit? I’ll send it right back, promise.”

“Oh, of course not, boys! Ah!” She looked at Harry. “And Harry Potter, too! Could we make a little side trip? The King of Naboombu so wants to meet you!”

Ron groaned. “Brilliant,” he said, through his teeth.

“What’s Naboombu?”

“You’ll see,” said Ron. “Whatever you do, don’t agree to referee anything.”


End file.
